A Secant Query

Between Demons and Hunger

Wherein this isn't mine, I won't sign it...

Between Demons and Hunger

I Want For Nothing

Okay, stop right there. Put your demons on the line. Only people with demons can both have needs and want for nothing. In fact, I am beginning to suspect that's the trade.

Off-load authorship so you might be owed: you did this. You did that. And when you needed a thing I wasn't down your throat stitching up your starvation.

Yes I Was Not

Laser lock on something in me looking like a need all you like, I will never reciprocate that. You don't get it. You learn slow. Here:

Needs are what you get when you've handed off your wants.

The ones operating your wants like toggles to meet your needs - those deamons - love you wantless. Where I am one sich demon, what you need: is to go to want school. Pack your bags. I'm going biblically-accurate angel on this nightmare.

School Is In Session

You experience hunger, that ain't vulnerability. Your needing me is your fault. You lacking self requires having no wants. Rains don't expect the sun to shine as compensation for falling: look at the evening star. You are never owed food; You don't deserve to eat; And you're not worth knowing - you just happen to want it on occasion, so you get it, you eat, you're known.

Wanting the food, and laying on the ground next to food with mouth open, crying as though it rejects you remain distinct actions far outside this hyperbolic. It's not endearing, at any scale; It isn't insane - it is an extractivist authorless unkind incurious and highly-adaptive cis-het practice.

Do not need.

Want. Want things from me. Want acts from me. Want time from me. Want words from me.

Making yourself not-responsible for what you want (such, if I don't provide it, I become the one who did something) is not going to fly.

Your Needs Are Your Fault

You want to talk about your anvestors - they this, they that. Well, your ancestors wanted all those this-and-that. They didn't need it. How do your ancestors feel seeing you need so bad you're face-down mouth-gaping tongue-wagglingly refusing to author that need (as those very ancestors you esteem).

(you want to talk about trust) That is trust. You don't know the first thing about the ambient, real-feel, what it means to be out here wanting without save, anti-desperate, failed justification. Needs are always justified. They're never a risk.

Wants are never justified. Maybe the reason I keep picking up the board and inspecting it is because you've so rules-bound yourself you put my person at risk. Waving what you've done for me in my face like rubbing my nose in your shit. Like I have needs too, I just don't want to admit I need community.

I don't need community. I don't need survival. And I'll never need love. In fact. I don't believe love exists outside wanting it. Outside release. Outside throwing the need game not just away, but into our hearts as something to break down together. Perhaps the reason why I want to talk about how the need-sausage gets made is because survival can't work under these conditions.

Be Your Ancestors

Not prosaically - be an embodiment of authored choice - desire to see the world brought it you. Desire to leave the comforts, to be the wind, the want, what brought need. Yes. Science will say fitness landscape until the cows come home. But science is a product of food storage. Always "control"ing, "isolat"ing, "measur"ing, "replicat"ing. Wild study exists: curiosity (listening, unfolding, waking). Study that doesn't need to know, but wants to hear.

Study that isn't owed finding. Study that doesn't immediately make the red dot on the mother bird's beak bigger in every part of society the moment it learns a bigger dot makes the hatchling peck more feverishly. You've been living in a world that has been piloting your instincts like a stone soup franchise. Like you do it to yourself and can't control how it feels.

Want to control how it feels (want to live in this world like it's the one your ancestors authored). Life their story. Your instincts are explpited until you want for nothing: be curious toward that! Inspect the board with me. Your ancestors faced hardships. They never face their own insticts turned against them. They left you to.

I don't know about you, but that sounds like one hell of an authorship to me.

Take-Home Quiz