A Secant Query

Between Parasite and Crisis

Wherein a DNA sequence is mostly viral matter...

Between Parasite and Crisis

📕 - Unsinkable: How to Build Plywood Pontoons & Longtail Boat Motors Out of Scrap by Robnoxious

My Brain On Sugar

I cook breakfast - oats, with bite.

Candy stops me from eating this; token pride, self-respect both falling short, what works is more a self-holding. Tying myself down, breaking myself down. I am a bunch of molecules. None of these molecules need candy. That is a story, a myth. Tell a myth and it spreads. Like poison ivy, itchy scratchy:

All needs, all mine - actual needs. Alcohol - actual need. Tobacco - actual need. And I need candy. Two-hundred-year-old business needs to live. A two-thousand-year-old culture needs to love. Dies otherwise. And I need to keep busy. Busy people can't be bothered. Bodies too cold develop fungal infections. My workaholism is my antifungal cream. My need to work, make money, keeps me from houselessness, starving out.

Food in mouth, as therapists say. About eating disorders.

The candy is in my hands. I turn it over, look at the nutrition label, dial tunes to faint pirate broadcast. Coincidence FM - unsweetended apple sauce, frosty wheat spooners, chocolates, cookies: each, 12 grams of sugar per serving. I could eat candy all day. I turn to the oats, fawn.

If I Die, My Needs Die

My life is mostly third shift. Isolated through childhood, I eat crackers. Grow up poor, a tiny queer in a class of ten rich southerners. Urges to be legible eat me. Marathonly.🏃 Finding language for what hurts helps. The heart pumps, a multicellular story.

I grow away from the heart. How the hind and fore brains are two separate organs🌱. Every human body two separate people; a small lizard person, and a huge machine mind (A tiny mapmaker, and a great biologist). Sitting together, in a shared firelight. A light going out, between them. One, sprinkling sugar, engorges the flame; the light burning from more ends. But they need the light big. Pain; they need immediate, fullbody relief.

Says the mapmaker: There, putting the sugar in a box: now we will not burn the sugar. Replies the biologist: But we can open the box. Marks the mapmaker: This is true.

Assisted Egocide

Doctor: "don't eat that." (Authoritarian doctor.) Sure, whatever. It's true.

Game my mapmaker and biologist like to play: improvise as various political flavors of doctor. How each doctor finds words for sugar's giving me brain fog:

My mapmaker looks at my biologist. Currently dressed in a sheet with a spoon stuck vertical through a headband. Pointing to a picture they draw, of a tree; stick figure under the tree, in a speech bubble: smiley face). Or I stand over the oats.

Grab a glass dispenser designed for sugar. Shake out cryatals into my hand. Fleck a desired amount into the bowl from this hand. Toss, the rest over a shoulder. Dispensed amount becomes the correct amount over the course of this toss.

Sit. Eat.

It's Salt

Morning. Another neighbor reaches new levels of disability. Lives of their me[...]bolisms🐮 catch up to them. How a turtle catches a hare. No faster than the hare, than bovine-predigested grass is real-er than turbine-predigested grass. Cows public relations are the momma's milk of many cultures. Cows shaped like clay by hand longer than turbine - grass-to-hand leaves more people able-bodied where turbine functions as interlocuter, not cow.

But my mom enchiladas are made with red meat (cow-predigested grass), not pea meat (turbine-predigested grass). My mom, and milk, might be very old. Or animal life might be very new. Things went from fern and waterbear. To cambrian and mammalian in an eyeblink. Extinction; extinction; earth keeping water liquid. Writing to water how I write here, or sleeping drone writes to memory in aster flowers. Good this. Less that. Run.

Need migrates from accumulated understanding in years for O(n) linear behavior ("this lifetime") time. To today found in hope for O(nⁿ) exponential behavior ("more-than-this lifetime") time. Need shifting to more-than-this lifetime brings need to a low register - the liver. From the high register of more-than-this-lifetime's skin.

Taking "the skin out of the game" grounds the pain system in the earth, in stone - seedbank - where need might get some perspective, recover.

Need Doesn't Look Like Needing

My neighbors speak largely in memeglish. A dialect consisting of common phrases. Openings are proper, appropriate, or queer. A phrasebook is linked in the doobly-doo📝. Queer abuses good graces. Speak in tokens for greatest accessibility. Consider opening with "hello [understood-you]" or "how are you".

This paved road, memglish, delivers high-octane information sugar rush directly to neighbor's ego. Accessibility is a very magic word. Memeglish, a fast food language, need friction concentrated at the base, how engines need friction concentrated at the tire. Engines, like egos, have accessibility needs. Fresh blacktop is preferable. No potholes. And smooth travel - no gravel roads. Please: wide lanes, all well-marked. Lit bright, enforcable laws against jaywalkers. No bicycles on freeways.

Freeways are, first, animal migration paths.🦬

No animals on migration paths freeways. The car is chosen. The road is chosen. To drive, a choice. To grow a road as weed in the path of migration, a choice. To deny migration passage: a choice. Shall our access needs play roshambo? When access needs collide, who arbitrates? Food pyramid but it's assessibility (do elders go on the top, do grasses go on the bottom)?

Let the pyramid be a head of an arrow, this arrow point to the sun (a strange compass, this accessibility arrowhead). The top, closest to the sun. The base, where arrowhead meets lignin. The top, always in full sun. Such this arrow orbits the sun. Tip of the arrow making a circle. Base of the arrow making a circle around this circle.🔘

Larger, the circle made by the base of this arrow. Doing more, with less. And less (and less).

Until It Puts Its Gas Mask On

🌱 - https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2026/09/two-separate-brains.html
🏃 - muscles eat liver and brain, in a marathon
🐮 - is "mesa-bolism" anything?
📝 - https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Phrasebooks
🦬 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_road_transport#Antiquity
🔘 - 🎯
🎯 - 🌀
🌀 - 🫁
🫁 - 🌬️
🌬️ - 🐺
🐺 - 🐷
🐷 - 🛖
🛖 - 🗼
🗼 - 📡
📡 - 📻
📻 - 💬
💬 - 📖
📖 - 🗣️
🗣️ - 🧠
🧠 - 👂
👂 - 🌽
🌽 - 🌾
🌾 - base